Happy New Year!
It’s already been a couple of days since we said goodbye to good ol’ 2018. The year I went through one of the biggest transformations in my life.
How? Well, that’s easy. I started 2018 off at one of the deepest levels I’ve ever experienced. I got diagnosed with a depression, got confronted with the hard decision of taking antidepressants, and we were in thousands of dollars in debt. While we had zero income. Our life in Belgium was a failure, and it seemed impossible to live a normal life. Let alone, be happy. Logically as a result, we were both very unhappy.
When I reached rock bottom and even my doctor told me I needed months (and medication) in order to feel capable of going back to work, I decided that 2018 would be a year of drastical change.
Not just mental health-wise. I felt ready for the new and improved me.
And I had a long way to go.
My first realization was how everything about our life in Belgium seemed off, while I noticed myself saying all the time: “It wouldn’t be like that in the Netherlands.”
My usual advice to someone else would be: then why don’t you just GO? Move! Chase your happiness! You deserve it!
I knew I needed to take my own advice.
What followed was one of the significant steps I took, that all together would improve our lives.
A Life Changing Decision
Exactly one year ago, on the 5th of January we had an appointment at the migration office, in the Netherlands. Without overthinking I had called and planned the meeting, prepared all the documents.
Why? Because the visa and Luis’ work permit were literally the only reasons we weren’t living in the Netherlands yet.
To get that problem solved, the only thing we needed was following the steps of applying for a visa. Easier said than done. We were terrified something would go wrong. The visa could get denied. Luis could get deported.
I already imagined myself, emotionally and physically weak from the depression, taking care of Sophia alone. While my husband would be 9000 kilometers away from us.
But that’s the worst case scenario. Doom thinking. The fear that kept me/us from going after what we truly desired.
Keep it simple
For that reason, I simplified the process again. I checked the exact steps we needed to get a visa. Then I made a plan, where I noted each and every single thing I needed to do, so that I wouldn’t forget about anything. I kept the fear and emotions for the moments I wasn’t working on our game plan. And TA-DAA! Shortly after, we had a huge booklet of documents, ready to get presented to the migration.
And of course, a decent copy for ourselves.
That 5th of January I took power and control over my life back. One and a half hour after walking in, we walked out. Luis was holding his passport, WITH a stamp for 6 months and a work permit.
Needless to say, that night we celebrated.
Within one week, Luis signed a job contract and he finally started working full time. Like a real person, you know. He finally got a better status as the father/head of a family.
In the first two weeks of the year, we already had two (more, if we consider the consequences as well) problems solved! It was a very good start.
Back to Childhood
On the other hand, it also meant we had to take one step backwards. Our debts and financial problems were real, so we took the decision to move back in with my parents. For the meantime. In that same first month of the year, we found ourselves in my old bedroom. Painting the walls from (very) pink to white. It was finally time to leave my childhood behind.
The same childhood I always tried to cling upon for some reason. As if it was filled with very safe and happy memories.
It wasn’t.
I didn’t feel safe, nor happy. High school mostly reminds me of the period I got bullied and locked myself up in my bedroom, trying to find a better world on the internet.
Therapy
My need of therapy and medication had a reason that went deeper than just ‘I had a rough year’. That same childhood I didn’t want to let go off, was still hurting me. I still needed to process so many fears and emotions. Scars that weren’t even close to healing, yet.
I was lucky my therapist noticed those layers underneath my current problem, and instead of treating my original request for help, she showed me it was my inner child that needed to be cured first.
It took us a couple of months, and the sessions were rough. But it started a transformation I never thought I would be able to go through in the timeframe of less than a year.
All my past beliefs and hurtings transformed in something else. I felt how I grew stronger every week. My beliefs became positive, and I became radiant with confidence. Soon after, I didn’t need to lay down every time Sophia went to take a nap. I started to use those precious moments to get some work done. In the house, on myself, on my blog or on my business.
I had already come so far, and we weren’t even halfway through the year.
One day in May I had yet another therapy session. It turned out to be the last one. I knew it, and she knew it. We didn’t have anything to talk about anymore. That day I said goodbye to my coach, grateful for the transformation she had helped me with.
I wasn’t done yet though.
My First Coach
I had been hanging around in the coaching world for a while now, and I was eager to invest. I noticed how free trainings and goodies had a huge impact on me, and I wanted to turn our lives upside down (even more) with a training I had my eyes on. Luis was very hesitant, seen our financial circumstances. But I wasn’t. I needed that ultimate push in the back to become even better than the new and improved me I had set my mind on earlier that year.
Turned out that I was right.
Lauren’s course changed my life. Lauren’s trainings transformed me. She made me notice all these things, thoughts, ideas and knowledge I had hidden deep down inside of me, without ever knowing about them. And with every video or text, a piece of myself crawled outside.
I didn’t regret a single dime I had spent on my first coach.
Dream Life Creation
Looking back, it’s as if you could almost literally see me changing. Sitting here, behind my computer. Eagerly learning and soaking up all the information. All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. This is what I always wanted to do.
This is what I had in mind, when I was studying to be a dietician.
This is what I had in mind, when I noticed I wanted to do more than giving nutritional advice.
This is what I had in mind whenever I would dream of my deepest dream job desires.
This is what I wanted, but never thought it was possible.
This is what I hoped I could do, every time I got complimented on my insights.
This is what makes my heart beat faster, every time I noticed I helped friends and family with transformations.
I want to help transform others as well. And I finally realized I had it in me all the time.
The last couple of months I’ve been building my own coaching business. I’m developing a training, filled with videos, workbooks and lessons that will help others to realize what their true desires are, and to make them become real. To finally create the life of their dreams. My training, with the purpose of transforming and impact many other lives.
This training, my baby, will be called Dream Life Creation.
I’ll keep you posted on the Launch dates AND on the beta program – as I will have a beta test drive with huge discounts.
My Dream Home
As if all of this isn’t enough yet, we had another huge change. Our plan was to stay with my parents as long as needed, even though it wasn’t ideal as we are our own family now. As soon as my desires started to show before my minds eye, I started manifesting our dream apartment.
New, two bedrooms, modern, big bathroom, balcony.
Guess what? On the 5th of December we received our keys to our dream home. The year couldn’t have gone any better.
Our year ended with us living in our own apartment, in the Netherlands. Luis now has a valid 5 year visa (forgot about that one!). He still enjoys his fulltime job, I have my own business and there are no signs of the depression I had started the year with.
New Year, New Me (and You!)
Last year has been crazy. Last year started with a different Nicole, than the one that toasted Happy New Year five days ago. One year ago I wouldn’t even have dared to dream of everything we have achieved by now. I advice you to always imagine the unlimited amount of possibilities that can be achieved.
Have you set any goals for this year? If not, let me ask you this. Did you really dislike something in 2018? What can you do about it? What is keeping you from doing that?
Just try it anyway.
Who knows where you might end up.
And if nothing happens, it’ll only mean that nothing changed. No big deal.
I wish you all a happy 2019, a year in which you may (finally) chase your own dreams. A year in which I wish for each and everyone of you a transformation that will make you happier, and an improved version of yourself for all the years to come.
Lots of love,
Nicole
